My first big solo Adventure

Flashback to August 2024

Dean and I always had big dreams. Even after his cancer came back and our lives began revolving around treatments, surgeries, and doctor’s appointments, he never stopped planning our next adventure.

Hope was something he refused to let cancer take from him.

Our plan was to spend another summer traveling between treatments. We wanted to head west again—Colorado for sure, maybe Utah—and check another National Park off our list. By then we’d already explored fifteen parks together, and every one of them held memories that I’ll treasure forever.

Our fifteenth park had been the previous November, and it was Baloo’s very first National Park. We laughed watching him experience everything with the same excitement we felt every time we pulled into a new place.

After Dean passed away, I couldn’t imagine taking that trip without him.

The thought of driving those roads, hiking those trails, and standing in places we had dreamed about together felt impossible.

But eventually I realized something.

Dean wouldn’t have wanted those dreams to die with him.

So I found the courage—courage that somehow I still believe he continues to give me—and Baloo and I packed up Dean’s truck and drove the ten hours from Kansas City to Estes Park, Colorado two summers ago.

Just the two of us… although it never really felt like only two.

I truly felt Dean with us every mile.

We stayed in a cozy little cabin just a few miles from Rocky Mountain National Park, where Baloo and I checked National Park number sixteen off our list.

For me.

For Dean.

For us.

The trip was exactly what my heart needed.

We hiked, explored, just sat in nature, and met some really nice people. Dean would have been proud. I already knew that Baloo loves people and being out and about, but I really saw Baloo in his element during this trip. He LOVED hiking.

Following through trails, and climbing up through rocks, you could just see how excited he was. He was just as happy prancing around downtown making everyone smile and asking to pet him or take a photo of him.

This weekend was hard and there were a lot of tears, but I know Dean was with us smiling with me at how much joy Baloo brings everyone, but especially to me. I had a lot of very obvious signs that showed me Dean was with us every step of the way.

Looking back now, I realize that trip wasn’t just about visiting another National Park.

It was about taking the first step toward learning how to keep living after unimaginable loss.

It was about honoring the promise I made to Dean—that I would continue to live life fully, chase adventures, and love this beautiful world the way he always did.

Thank you babe for giving me the strength and courage to do this for you. We will keep trying to make you proud.

Thank you Colorado & the Rockies is for giving us a little of what we needed. ⛰️

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