🍍Infertility Awareness Week🍍

I guess this is an appropriate time to share this part of the story, being that it’s infertility awareness week.

“Do you have kids?” We get this question ALL the time and countless times already on this trip. It seems harmless- and should be.

However, every time I hear it, I cringe as my heart sinks and I usually answer with a simple, “no.”

I know there are many women (and men) that have experienced that same feeling. That variation of the question about kids. We don’t want people to think that not having kids was a choice, but we also don’t want to make them uncomfortable with the actual, very complicated reason you don’t.

When we started this blog, we decided how important it was for us to share our story. When we were going through a lot of our crazy obstacles, I myself didn’t publicly share what we were going through at the time. I did, however find myself scouring through social media and googling for answers. Someone who understands, a story that hit home. Whenever I did find something that I could relate to or that was similar to what we were going through, I felt comfort in that- even if that comfort didn’t last too long.

So, if just one person reads this and thinks— “Yep, I get it- I guess I am not the only one.” I’ve done what I hoped for. I wish we could do SO much more and maybe I will figure out how, but until then, Here is our infertility story…

Like the story goes for a lot of people, I dreamed of being a mom for as long as I could remember. Find the perfect husband and have babies. That’s the goal, right? I thank my lucky stars every day that I DID get that first part. Babies was the obvious next step.

Dean and I got together in 2009, bought our 4 bedroom house to fill with our family in 2013, married 2014. We tried on our own for 4 years with no luck. We decided it was time to met with fertility specialists in 2017.

Many tests later, it was decided that IVF with icsi was our only option to have children of our own. The wrap sheet timeline goes like this:

• April 2017– prep for 1st egg retrieval( aka inject yourself with TONS of meds)

• May- 1st egg retrieval. 22 eggs retrieved- only 1 embryo made it Transfered embryo- negative.

• August 2017- another full round with egg retrieval. 19 eggs retrieved, 1 embryo made it, genetic testing confirmed abnormal and no transfer.

• 2018-took a break to heal.( emotionally, physically, financially)

• January 2019- new IVF clinic, new doctor. More tests. decided to do some IUI rounds.

• February 2019- negative IUI

• March 2019- negative IUI

• April 2019- negative IUI

• May 2019- changed up drugs and prep for another egg retrieval

• June 2019 Third egg retrieval, 12 eggs retrieved. 0 embryos made it.

(If you have questions and/or want more specific details about our ivf journey feel free to DM me. I didn’t want to bore with all the specific details, but I know some may find it helpful )

It was a very tough few years. It drained us emotionally, physically and financially.

We were trying to except that having our own children just wasn’t going to happen for us. I thought about it only 50 times a day. Until June 9, 2020.

The day I heard the words that my husband had cancer, a switch went off. Suddenly, nothing else mattered. I was ready to bargain with anyone I can. Okay, fine, if we can’t have kids, then please just keep my husband alive. And that began a whole other journey, A crazier year of fighting for his life. But, I'll share our cancer story another time.

Does it still hurt? Yes. Do I still think about wanting kids often? Yes. But now, my husband is alive. I have him with me. We have each other. And if it’s just us and Jeffrey for our little family, I accept it- I have to. However, I still feel for everyone who ever has to go down the Infertility path. It sucks. It's a club that no one wants to be a part of, Maybe one day we will have our baby, but I try not to think about that much.

We have come to realize that things rarely turn out how you plan. Sometimes even worse. But you have to learn to find the good in each day and not take one thing for granted.

So, here we are today on this travel adventure, and finding joy in our journey- one day at a time.

But, we are 1 in 8. #1in8 #infertilityawareness